To describe our growing up in the lowcountry of South Carolina, I would have to take you to the marsh on a spring day, flush the great blue heron from its silent occupation, scatter marsh hens as we sink to our knees in mud, open an oyster with a pocketknife and feed it to you from the shell and say, 'There. That taste. That's the taste of my childhood.' - Pat Conroy

May 23, 2016

Two Weeks.

Giving your notice is never easy, in fact, like my feeling this morning, it is often gut-wrenching.

Telling your boss that in two weeks time you'll have to say your goodbyes and move on, well let's be honest, it's not something they look forward to, especially this day in age when it's hard to find good help.

With all this being said, I guess I should come clean, in two short weeks, nine working days, I will be what I've wanted to be for a very long time now, an official stay at home mom. Although the circumstances in what got us here aren't the happiest, we know it's the very best thing for our family.

My mom is still in the hospital. I'm not going to go into every detail, but by the looks of it she may still be in the hospital come  this time next week and then it will take some time for her to re-coup and get back to her normal self again. I know without a doubt she's going to come out of this. She's one tough woman and I have nothing but faith and a positive outlook on her recovery.

Long story short, my mom has watched Cadence for us ever since she was a baby. We have been so very blessed and fortunate to have someone near and dear to our hearts, someone we trust whole heatedly, to help raise our daughter while we work. Although there were times when mom would be in the hospital before, we had a sitter here or there to fall back on, however, with summer break now upon us, a sitter for the entire summer is extremely un-affordable and out of our budget. I called two separate places that we trusted to keep our daughter and they were both identical in price, and the prices were only $50 off from our mortgage bill each month, that's when we knew we had to come up with plan B.

We sat down with good ole pen and paper, went through our finances and realized that although it will be tight, it could work. We would have to give up eating out so much, and for a while, vacations, but it could very well work.

I'm not going to lie, it's going to be a huge transition. I've never NOT had a job. I've worked right out of high school and never looked back. Not only is the financial transition going to be one to get used to, but filling my days with useful things to do is going to be another. Getting into a completely different routine and finding one that works best for me and my family. Although it's nerve-wrecking, my heart is happy with the decision we've made.

I'm ready to spend the summer with Cadence. I'm ready to be there for my mom when she comes out the hospital. I'm ready to do park days and pool days and beach days and library days. I'm ready to make her lunch and when the school year starts I'll love being able to pick her up in the afternoons and going on every field trip, not having to pick and choose which one due to my work schedule.

I've never had doubts that the Lord existed. I'm a Christian, and although I don't attend Church regularly like I should, I have faith. My mom's hospital visit this time  has been a roller-coaster to say the least. She's had great days when we thought she would surely get out soon, and then within a few hours she'd be right back to square one, if not worse.

Not long after I did the blog post last week, mentioning that I wouldn't get to be a SAHM until spring next year, we received a phone call that mom had been moved into a step up room, basically she needed to be monitored more closely due to her condition. Tarl and I discussed our options, did the math, and he said let's give it until Sunday. We'll pray for her and about our decision and we'll wait until Sunday.

Friday my mom was well. She was up and talking with myself, my dad and Tarl. She was in high spirits and we thought we had our answer. I'd continue to work because surely she would be out soon with how well she had been doing, then Saturday came and it seemed as though it was a complete 180 from how she was the day before. Her breathing was labored again, her heart rate was up and it was just not a good day.

On Sunday afternoon we received a phone call that my mom had been admitted into ICU. That gave us our answer. Without a doubt I know my mom will come out on top of this. Without a doubt I know we're making the right decision for our family. Without a doubt I know the Lord exists because He gives you an answer to your questions when you least expect it, although the answer may not come in the form you thought they would, He has a reasoning for everything.

Please pray for my mom's health. Prayers do not go unheard!

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